I can’t write who score. How
many assists were had. I can’t write about the number of saves. I cannot pretend that game was normal. I was there. But my heart was breaking. Every quarter, every minute, every play. I knew it was the end. Here is my reflection:
Today feels like I’ve been broken up with by the same person for the second time. The first time it was sudden. No warning. Everything seemed to be fine. Then it wasn’t. It was like ripping a bandage off a wound. Sudden and painful. It stung. There was no closure. No goodbye. You moved on in another city. And I was left behind. I visited. You had something you thought was a good thing. It turned out it wasn’t.
Eventually we both moved on. We grew. We changed.
You came back. New promises and all the fanfare. I fell again. Things were going strong until Covid. We made it through.
Rumors started. You denied them. I had faith in you because I am a hopeless believer. I am. I denied it. I believe you. You did it again. You took another piece of my heart, and then you left. Probably for good. And somehow this time, i knew it was over. Permanently.
This time it is so much harder because I could prepare. Maybe I was more invested. Maybe I saw things differently. But this pain is different.
And last night was one last hurrah. One last swan song and every other cliche that someone could write about. You reminded me of the good old days. The positive memories. The electricity and energy was palpable. The lights seemed brighter. I thought maybe there would be a sense of remorse. A sense of we can still fix this; that you thought it could be salvaged. It was still worth fighting for. You fought. It wasn’t enough.
And then you left.
I will be okay. I will pick up the pieces. You’ll move on. I hope you are happy and successful in your new place. I hope it is worth it.
It was never just a game or a season to me. Philadelphia Wings
