Every once in a while, we will attempt to write the worst lacrosse article on the planet. This week, let’s look at the difference between lacrosse players and non-lacrosse players.
In the Champion Challenge last Sunday, Quint Kessenich referred to faceoff specialists as non-lacrosse players. His point was poorly received by many. Perhaps that’s because he was right. Perhaps those who disagreed are not ready to face the harsh reality of lacrosse’s inconvenient truth.
Faceoff specialists do not play defense. They cannot play offense. When you take the Xs and Os out of the alphabet, you are left with twenty-four letters. When you take them out of lacrosse? Well, then you are left with cheating, talentless, pinch-and-popping, roster-spot-hogging faceoff specialists.
My only issue with Quint’s take is that he was too conservative in his definition of non-lacrosse players. When you think about it, attackmen and defensemen are not lacrosse players either. Sure, some are swing guys. The rest? They reap the rewards of their midfielders’ hard work.
Here is what we need: Eliminate attackmen and defensemen. Six midfielders and one goaltender apiece. That would be one beautiful game.
Look at John Grant Jr. and Drew Westervelt. Neither can play defense. Neither is a lacrosse player. I am tired of those guys dominating the Creator’s Game. If you cannot do everything, then you cannot do anything.
The National Football League is currently being sued by former players with concussion histories. The best way for MLL to avoid a similar concussion issue? Remove the stone-handed, meat-headed defensemen who cause them. Seriously. Can Mitch Belisle and Brian Spallina even catch the ball?
Hockey centers take faceoffs and stay on the ice. By using FOGOs, lacrosse is openly admitting that its athletes are less skilled than hockey players. We need to erase the perception of lacrosse that FOGOs have created.
Ideally, lacrosse should be played between six Kyle Harrisons and six Stephen Peysers. These guys are swing guys who can do it all. Faceoff, play defense, play offense. That is the way that the medicine game was intended to be played. That is the way I hope to see it played someday.